I am currently 6 and half months pregnant with twins. It hasn't been an easy pregnancy and in fact I could still lose them. I am pregnant with a boy and girl and daddy is now OTR.
He is a rookie and a company has him now in his training period which he says will be 28 days, and then will have to drive with a team for another 30 days. Which means the likely hood he won't be here when the lil ones are born.
He won't tell me where he is at when he calls and checks in, and since he left he has called every day to check on us, but my concern is why he won't tell me where in the world he is. He says it is because of security and he wants to also protect the privacy of his trainer. But I am not sure I should buy that. can anyone tell me if the time frame for his training and teaming sounds right, does anyone else not know where in the country the OTR is?
I know a lot of my concerns is due to over reactive hormones right now, but it has been and is hard not knowing where he is, he says he will call when he gets the chance, and he has. But he turns off his cell phone the majority of the time, which angers me What if something happens with the babies? To me it seems as if he doesn't care, but he says it is because he is driving and doesn't want to distract himself or his trainer if the phone should happen to ring. But I say in this circumstance any trainer would understand? Am I Wrong?
He is concerned that it could cost him his job, if he was to get a call. Would it?
Any help or advice anyone can give would be appreciated, been hard back here at home
Well... about the cell phone. In many states it is illegal to use a cell phone while driving. It may also be company policy not to use during driving as well. At the very least, it would require answering and/or pulling over for a call... not something a trainer would be real happy about.
Do you have family nearby that you plan to rely on when the babies are due? If not, it would be good to set up some friends and neighbors you could call in an emergency. Be prepared is the main thing... if your husband is on the road, far from home, there is little he can do in any situation.
P.S. I'm not sure what security problems there may be with giving you his location, but I also don't know what help it might be to you. I think it's wonderful he calls every day, but perhaps he could call you twice a day at this time, to ease your mind.
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Getting used to the truckers wife life is sort of hard in the begining to say the least, trying to do it while expecting has to be a HUGE task. Your hubby probably turns his phone off so that he isnt distracted like he has told you. Being new to the road he does need to pay plenty of attention to all the little details.
Do you have text message on your cell phones? If you do I would ask him to leave his phone on and PROMISE not to call, but you could still text him in an emergency......he would only get a slight beep when the message came in. That might help lessen your worries.
As for not telling you where he is that is a new one to me, my hubby has been OTR for quite sometime now and there is no reason for you to not know where he is....UNLESS he is working for the government/military and hauling a special load for them?..and that is VERY rare.
The training period and team sounds about right but all companies vary with that to.
Turning his phone off is a red flag to me, and I am sorry to say this considering your current condition but it is a red flag. The trainer has no right to tell your hubby not to let you know where he is and there is no reason to protect the privacy of the trainer period. Is this trainer a woman? There is something fishy in bagdad for sure.
First of congrats on the twins. I hope and pray everything goes smoothly for you in delivery.
I'm sure that especially during a time of pregnancy that a lot of things make you emotional. However, I wouldn't blame this on hormones. You are pregnant with twins and evidently you have had a high risk pregnancy. You have every right in the world to know where the father of your children is. So please do not blame this on hormones.
Now does your husband specifically state to you that he turns off his phone? I do want to bring to your attention that depending on what Wireless provider you have and the location in which your husband is, his cell phone just might not be picking up any signals. When that happens more than likely when you call it might seem like he has his phone off and it goes straight to voice mail or something to that effect. I know that with my husband we had to change to Verizon Wireless because they had the best coverage for where he has to travel.
And as for him not telling you where he is? Girlfriend, I have no clue... personally I think it sounds fishy.
I am the type of person that is upfront and honest. If I were you, which I'm not, but if I were, I would set your husband down face to face and voice your concerns, your anger, if you have any, and tell him if your hurt... You are his wife and the mother of his children. You have a right to be heard. It doesn't matter whether your husband is a trucker or a CEO of a major company... trust, honesty, and communication are the backbone to any relationship.
Again, I will be praying for you and your little one.
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He won't tell me where he is at when he calls and checks in, and since he left he has called every day to check on us, but my concern is why he won't tell me where in the world he is. He says it is because of security and he wants to also protect the privacy of his trainer. But I am not sure I should buy that. can anyone tell me if the time frame for his training and teaming sounds right, does anyone else not know where in the country the OTR is?
Sometimes depending on what the driver is hauling it might be a security issue. Some loads are full of very expensive item's. I mean I think it would probably be ok if he were to tell you almost where he was....but if it is a high dollar load then I would advise against anyone knowing his exact location.
The time frame depends on how well he does while with his trainer, some company's will allow for the trainer and trainee to stay together for as long as 6 month's. But this does not mean he will not be home in that 6 month's either.
Actually it seams to me to be a rather short training session, but again depending on how well he is doing will determine how long he is in training.
As for turning off his cell phone, it might be the rule of the company he is driving for maybe it is something to do with him being a "green" driver for this company. I assume he just graduated truck driving school as you said he is a rookie.
His trainer probably has him to turn it off due to interfering with his training, and driving.
I think you are letting the hormones take over here. You must trust him while he is gone on the road, it sounds to me like he is trying to do something good for you and your "new" family. So you must show him some trust. If there were no complication's before he left to go driving then you must not worry about him.
My two cents would be for him to change companies ASAP! The teaming after training is only good for the company and has nothing to do with training. It's hard to drive team when first starting out, it's when a lot of people quit.
Some of what he's telling you may be company policy and some might be his trainer's policy. A lot of trainers are on a power/control/ego trip. Because I haul really expensive stuff a lot and telling family where you're at is never an issue. It might be with explosives, but he's not hauling those while training. "his trainer's privacy" ???!!! His trainer must be a nut case.
I can't see any company NOT making changes to a training schedule to work around, so a soon-to-be father can be home. If it really is the company, like I said, change as soon as possible. It's never too late. Quitting and starting at another company so soon will mean starting with a trainer again. But it might be worth it.
A lot of trainers are on a power/control/ego trip. Because I haul really expensive stuff a lot and telling family where you're at is never an issue.
Some company's don't like for everybody to know what everybody is hauling, also they don't like for everybody to know the route the truck is on either.
I really don't see a problem unless he is hauling explosives but like wayne said if he is training he is NOT hauling explosives.
I hauled a load of pennies one time on a flat bed, and this was the policy on this load. I took them to a meltdown plant in VA. I really don't know how much money was involved but I had 45,000 lbs of penny's I'm sure it was pretty expensive.
Even when I pulled a HAZMAT tanker it was policy not to tell other's where you were, even more so after 9/11.
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